The best time for the children to know that their mom and dad are divorcing is when that decision has been finalized. While it is sometimes difficult to keep that information under wraps, there are some healthier ways for your children to hear the news.
Who should tell them: It is better if your children hear this news from BOTH mom and dad and the same time.
What should they be told: Children should be on a need to know basis. Information that is pertinent to them, not details of why the divorce is happening.
Where: Remember they will react to the news, so choose a place that is comfortable and private. Telling them at home is usually a good idea.
When: Tell your children when you are sure as adults that this divorce is imminent.